Monday, November 23, 2009

Reflection at four weeks

Two blogs ago I said I wanted to learn more about God and more about myself on this journey of left-handedness. Well now should be a good time to reflect since I go to the doctor tomorrow for my four week check-up. I say four week check-up because barring a miracle over night I don't think I'm getting rid of this cast yet.
Things I've learned about God and me so far:
He's in charge, I'm not.
He's patient, I'm impatient. (For years I've thought I was very patient.)
He's kind and loving, I'm crabby, selfish, and prone to perfectionism and discouragement.
He wants to change my attitude.
He wants me to think of Him first, and if I don't get around to thinking of anything else all day, that's OK.

Things I've learned about me:
I don't run to God for help as immediately as I thought I did.
I don't hunger to read His word as much as I thought I did.
I don't spend time in prayer praising Him and snuggling in His arms to get well. I just ask him to help me do the things I want, or feel I need to do, to prove I'm not helpless. (make bed, empty dishwasher, laundry, teach, etc.) Of course that leads to seeing what else needs to be done and being frustrated when it can't be done on my timetable. (Paul says "Oh wretched man that I am." Pauline says "Oh wretched woman that I am.")

During my adventure God's servants sent me cards and notes and prayers. Many came from people I didn't even think would care about me. I have been totally overwhelmed by this.
Our church sent flowers and a visitor.
During this time my kids have rallied around to feed us, clean our house, take me to the doctor and hairdresser, to be with me during Bill's surgery and to pray for us.
During this time my husband had heart surgery. He had three stents put in. He did not complain. He thanked God that we live in an age when this is possible.
Also during this time I've prayed for two couples going through far more physical difficulty than I. Yesterday a friend's wife died suddenly.

Tomorrow I see my doctor. He and God may both say I need more time. This "light momentary affliction" is not over yet. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." (Proverbs 1:7) I'm beginning to learn.
Insightfully yours,

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

One eye on the sparrow and the other watching me.

I thought I would give you a blow by blow report as I continued on my journey, but decided that wasn't a good idea when I was down in the "pit" over the weekend and beyond. I learned that you can do hard things for a while and it's OK, but to keep on for an extended period of time is daunting. My hand had started to swell and as a result, to hurt. I called the doctor and was told to keep it elevated, and continue using ice and Tylenol. So I did yesterday and indeed it stopped hurting. In fact I got up feeling so good this morning I decided to surprise Bill and make coffee. I got out the new coffee filters and found I couldn't open them. Bill cut them open. I got out the coffee and the pitcher of water and found I couldn't lift the pitcher to pour straight. So Bill poured it. So much for surprises!

I told Bill I could unload the dishwasher from last night's dishes and reload it. After he went to work I did that and got the garbage ready to take out, but I couldn't tie it. I cleaned the table and the counters and got meat out to defrost. Then because my hand was swollen and hurt again, even though it hadn't done any of the work, I took Tylenol and sat on the sofa with my arm elevated and covered with ice for 45 minutes. But God told me to be quiet and listen to the lyrics of my favorite Southern Gospel CD and look at my pretty backyard.

We have a new crop of roses, and our white camelias are starting to bloom. There was a pair of mocking birds playing in the neighbor's Birch tree and they kept me entertained for quite a while. The sky is light grey (not my favorite sky color) and all the trees in our neighbor's yard are turning from green to gold and will soon be red. It was a peaceful scene as I listened to "I know, yes I know Jesus died to make the vilest sinner clean," "Loving God, loving each other," He has one eye on the sparrow and the other watching me," "He came down to my level when I couldn't get up to His," and "At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light and the burden of my sins rolled away, it was there by faith that I first saw the light and now I am happy all the day." Indeed! My goal for today is an attitude of gratitude.
Insightfully yours,

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A New Adventure

I'm having a new adventure. I fell and broke my right wrist and shoulder blade. Shoulder blades apparently do not matter, but wrists do, particularly if they are attached to your dominate hand.
Mine is.
I also split my lip. That was taken care of by a stitch and antibiotics. But my wrist will be in a cast and sling for four weeks. I actually think the sling is more helpful for my shoulder. At any rate I need help.
The first thing I discovered as I sat down in my recliner was that it was meant to be used by a person who had use of his/her right hand. I couldn't raise the foot lever.
The second thing I discovered was that I couldn't fasten or unfasten my bra. Even if I pulled the fastener around to the front (women understand this), the fingers on my right hand are basically useless for small muscle tasks.
I couldn't put on my socks (I can now with enough time) or tie my shoes, hang up my clothes, or put on my sling.
Here is a list of things I found my solo left hand useful for:
sponge baths, putting on make-up, brushing teeth with an electric toothbrush, combing the front of my hair, putting on deodorant, loading and unloading the dishwasher, making the bed, folding the clothes except for large items like sheets or making sockballs, feeding the cat, and typing with one finger on the computer.
I'm praying that the Lord will help me learn more about Him during this time, more about myself, and new ways of coping. So far I've learned that He is patient, I'm not, and I'm very thankful for my husband.
Insightfully yours,