His Grace is Enough

Have you ever listed the hardships of the Apostle Paul? There is a long list, far longer and more severe than any I might complain about. Let's see, there is

hard work (later he says labored and toiled)
frequently been in prison (I've never been)
flogged (I don't know what this is but I think my mother threatened it)
exposed to death again and again (not me)
5 times received 40 lashes minus one
3 times beaten with rods
once stoned (with thrown stones, that is)
3 times shipwrecked (I'd find another mode of transportation)
a day and a night in the open sea (on a raft or plank?)
constantly on the move (I hate that)
danger from rivers
danger from bandits
danger from his own countrymen
danger from Gentiles (prejudice in his time)
danger in the city
danger in the country
danger at sea
danger from false brethren
sleep-deprived
hunger and thirst, going without food
cold and naked
stress-concern for his work among the churches

My conclusion: I am a pansy. My small complaints, though seemingly all consuming to me, are as nothing compared to what I read here. I sing with the rest of the congregation, "His grace is enough, His grace is enough, His grace is enough for me." Do I believe it?
Insightfully yours,
Paulita

Potting Soil

Today I was reading Matthew 13. Jesus told the Parable of the Sower. Did I know people whose lives represented the four kinds of soil? I thought of my son-in-law. The seeds of the Gospel probably have been planted in the past but never took root because he didn't understand. He's like Nicodemus, the literalist. When Nicodemus heard, "You must be bon again," he asked, "Can a man enter his mother's womb a second time to be born?"
The seeds that fell on rocky soil are perhaps like my granddaughter's life. She received the seeds of the good news of Jesus with joy, but there was not enough soil or encouragement for them to take root so they died out.
The seeds planted among thorns represent like my daughter's life. She, too, received the gospel with joy and relief, but the cares of life and the deceitfulness of riches choked them out.
Only the Holy Spirit can prepare the soil so that when the seeds of the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are planted, they will take root and bear fruit - a hundred fold. I can pray for Christian influences and friends to come into the lives of my family, but what they really need is for the Holy Spirit to prepare the soil of their hearts.
Merciful God, You always do what is right, and so I trust You with my family.

And Now for the Rest of the Story

Well, Christmas has come and gone (actually it remains until the New Year around here).
Yes, the cast did come off after 4 weeks. Then I was in a splint. I started hand therapy and my poor swollen hand and wrist really didn't appreciate it. For the first week, I was anxious to go because I wanted to be able to write my name. I was disappointed when I flunked the movement which is like shooting a gun. I just couldn't squeeze that hard. I was amazed at the number of "toys" the therapists used to restore my mobility. It was hard work and I was generally exhausted when my two hours was up.

By the second week, I just wanted to go home and curl up in the fetal position and sleep after my sessions.

I've now completed 10 sessions and may or may not do more. I not only can shoot the gun but I can press my thumb (which is arthritic) and my index finger in a pretty good pinch. I can also touch each other finger easily with my thumb. I can write with my right hand, tie my shoes, floss my teeth, pick up the cat, carry out garbage and waste baskets, vacuum, clean soiled appliance pieces with an SOS pad, etc. My default hand is now my right hand and if it can't do the job, my left hand helps. Christmas decorations went up later than usual and Christmas cards are still being written, but I don't think God is that concerned with our preconceived time schedules.

This has indeed been an adventure. I learned to expect improvement incrementally and rejoiced over each new accomplishment. Now I'm looking forward to being completely well, mentally (I CAN do this), emotionally (I don't have to focus on ME anymore), and physically (I like my new default to my right hand). God did give me a new attitude, one of gratitude to Him for His healing process.

One small P.S.: I start shoulder therapy three days from now. Maybe in three days I won't need it. My whole right side is getting stronger day by day. But whatever God has in mind, I'll do and I'll learn more lessons. He is good!

I hope you had a Merry Christmas. I did.
Insightfully yours,
Paulita

Reflection at four weeks

Two blogs ago I said I wanted to learn more about God and more about myself on this journey of left-handedness. Well now should be a good time to reflect since I go to the doctor tomorrow for my four week check-up. I say four week check-up because barring a miracle over night I don't think I'm getting rid of this cast yet.
Things I've learned about God and me so far:
He's in charge, I'm not.
He's patient, I'm impatient. (For years I've thought I was very patient.)
He's kind and loving, I'm crabby, selfish, and prone to perfectionism and discouragement.
He wants to change my attitude.
He wants me to think of Him first, and if I don't get around to thinking of anything else all day, that's OK.

Things I've learned about me:
I don't run to God for help as immediately as I thought I did.
I don't hunger to read His word as much as I thought I did.
I don't spend time in prayer praising Him and snuggling in His arms to get well. I just ask him to help me do the things I want, or feel I need to do, to prove I'm not helpless. (make bed, empty dishwasher, laundry, teach, etc.) Of course that leads to seeing what else needs to be done and being frustrated when it can't be done on my timetable. (Paul says "Oh wretched man that I am." Pauline says "Oh wretched woman that I am.")

During my adventure God's servants sent me cards and notes and prayers. Many came from people I didn't even think would care about me. I have been totally overwhelmed by this.
Our church sent flowers and a visitor.
During this time my kids have rallied around to feed us, clean our house, take me to the doctor and hairdresser, to be with me during Bill's surgery and to pray for us.
During this time my husband had heart surgery. He had three stents put in. He did not complain. He thanked God that we live in an age when this is possible.
Also during this time I've prayed for two couples going through far more physical difficulty than I. Yesterday a friend's wife died suddenly.

Tomorrow I see my doctor. He and God may both say I need more time. This "light momentary affliction" is not over yet. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." (Proverbs 1:7) I'm beginning to learn.
Insightfully yours,
Paulita

One eye on the sparrow and the other watching me.

I thought I would give you a blow by blow report as I continued on my journey, but decided that wasn't a good idea when I was down in the "pit" over the weekend and beyond. I learned that you can do hard things for a while and it's OK, but to keep on for an extended period of time is daunting. My hand had started to swell and as a result, to hurt. I called the doctor and was told to keep it elevated, and continue using ice and Tylenol. So I did yesterday and indeed it stopped hurting. In fact I got up feeling so good this morning I decided to surprise Bill and make coffee. I got out the new coffee filters and found I couldn't open them. Bill cut them open. I got out the coffee and the pitcher of water and found I couldn't lift the pitcher to pour straight. So Bill poured it. So much for surprises!

I told Bill I could unload the dishwasher from last night's dishes and reload it. After he went to work I did that and got the garbage ready to take out, but I couldn't tie it. I cleaned the table and the counters and got meat out to defrost. Then because my hand was swollen and hurt again, even though it hadn't done any of the work, I took Tylenol and sat on the sofa with my arm elevated and covered with ice for 45 minutes. But God told me to be quiet and listen to the lyrics of my favorite Southern Gospel CD and look at my pretty backyard.

We have a new crop of roses, and our white camelias are starting to bloom. There was a pair of mocking birds playing in the neighbor's Birch tree and they kept me entertained for quite a while. The sky is light grey (not my favorite sky color) and all the trees in our neighbor's yard are turning from green to gold and will soon be red. It was a peaceful scene as I listened to "I know, yes I know Jesus died to make the vilest sinner clean," "Loving God, loving each other," He has one eye on the sparrow and the other watching me," "He came down to my level when I couldn't get up to His," and "At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light and the burden of my sins rolled away, it was there by faith that I first saw the light and now I am happy all the day." Indeed! My goal for today is an attitude of gratitude.
Insightfully yours,
Paulita

A New Adventure

I'm having a new adventure. I fell and broke my right wrist and shoulder blade. Shoulder blades apparently do not matter, but wrists do, particularly if they are attached to your dominate hand.
Mine is.
I also split my lip. That was taken care of by a stitch and antibiotics. But my wrist will be in a cast and sling for four weeks. I actually think the sling is more helpful for my shoulder. At any rate I need help.
The first thing I discovered as I sat down in my recliner was that it was meant to be used by a person who had use of his/her right hand. I couldn't raise the foot lever.
The second thing I discovered was that I couldn't fasten or unfasten my bra. Even if I pulled the fastener around to the front (women understand this), the fingers on my right hand are basically useless for small muscle tasks.
I couldn't put on my socks (I can now with enough time) or tie my shoes, hang up my clothes, or put on my sling.
Here is a list of things I found my solo left hand useful for:
sponge baths, putting on make-up, brushing teeth with an electric toothbrush, combing the front of my hair, putting on deodorant, loading and unloading the dishwasher, making the bed, folding the clothes except for large items like sheets or making sockballs, feeding the cat, and typing with one finger on the computer.
I'm praying that the Lord will help me learn more about Him during this time, more about myself, and new ways of coping. So far I've learned that He is patient, I'm not, and I'm very thankful for my husband.
Insightfully yours,
Paulita

Identity Theft

Jericho - the town that Joshua fit the battle of, the town around whose walls Joshua and the Israelites marched seven times, the town from which Rahab and her family were rescued when the walls came a-tumblin' down, THAT JERICHO was to be wholly dedicated or consigned to the LORD as
1. a perpetual sign of God's judgment on the wicked Canaanites
2 a first fruits offering of the land. This was a way of signifying that the land belonged to the LORD.
3. a perpetual reminder that Israel had received the land of Canaan from God's hand as a gift of grace.

BUT
one Israelite soldier, Achan, coveted and stole some of the things from Jericho which were consigned to the LORD. He may have thought they would be small and insignificant to God whereas they were real treasures to him. Perhaps he wanted to pass them on as battle trophies to his children some day. But he knew he had done something wrong. Why else would he hide the stolen goods under his tent?

Achan's action showed that he cared more for those trinkets than he cared about obeying God whose command was to totally destroy everything. Consequently he became identified with the things consigned for destruction along with their possessors.

God said, "Israel has sinned."
"...they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction."
"You cannot stand against your enemies until you remove it."
"He who is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of the LORD and has done a disgraceful thing in Israel."

And so Achan and his family and possessions and flocks were destroyed along with the town of Jericho.

What or who am I identified with?
Insightfully yours,
Paulita